


Like An Itch Under My Skin

by CasTheButler



Series: The Burning Of Alexandria [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Originally Posted on Tumblr, Underage Drinking, allusions to self-harm, because this is american, honestly Aaron just needs some cuddles, kind of character study?, poly if you squint and not even that hard like it's right there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 10:15:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16871071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasTheButler/pseuds/CasTheButler
Summary: Originally written for a rarepair event on tumblr but I'm moving everything over hereAaron finds himself and his place on the team.





	Like An Itch Under My Skin

Aaron isn’t like the foxes, he’s not, he doesn’t need to be here. Andrew insisted he and Andrew had a deal. He and Andrew had a deal. He hates the too bright smiles and the way they act like they’ve overcome something.  
They’ve overcome nothing people never really do.

Aaron loves Katelyn. She’s perfect. She’s not like them. The first time they’d had sex it was amazing, he hadn’t even taken any pills afterwards. He was just buzzing. It’s not like she’s the one he lost his virginity too but she’s so beautiful, and he wants to fight for her. To have her. Not as a possession, but as something that belongs to him.

Aaron doesn’t know what possesses him to start sitting next to Matt in the stands. Doesn’t know why he actually lets a smile play on his face when Matt whoops and hollers in support of the Trojans they’ve come to watch this particular game. Kevin and Renee had insisted. Andrew didn’t refuse to take the members he owned. So here they were because even after all this time, even after they agreed to keep promises, even though Aaron could have not come, he belongs to his brother and he’s actually happy with that.

They go to Sweeties and Eden as a team, the drugs started up again, but not as intensely, just every so often. Every so often Aaron needs a hit and those wanting to indulge. They indulge. Packets of cracker dust dance across Matt’s fingers and Aaron watches him carefully. Matt doesn’t accept them, and Aaron feels like there’s electricity coursing through his veins when Matt’s skin brushes against his as he hands them over.

Aaron is so drunk, and he wants to dance so badly, there’s something he wants to forget. Even though he’s better. He might still be a fox, but that’s okay. He’s out. He’s better. No one’s hurt him for so long. He’s finding happy. He’s even happy for Andrew because Neil, Neil, Neil is so good. He’ll never apologize to him though. Never say that he cares. But Aaron needs Andrew and Andrew have Neil and Neil worships Matt and… Aaron wraps an arm around Matt’s arm and drags him forcibly as he can towards the dance floor because Matt isn’t so bad.

Aaron doesn’t think he knows this song. But he doesn’t care. He closes his eyes and doesn’t even freak out when Matt’s hands clutch at his waist. Better Matt than some stranger. Aaron isn’t always that big a fan of strangers. The music goes on for a while, and suddenly Matt is tugging at his shirt to get his attention. Aaron frowns at him, and Matt tries to speak over the noise. After a couple of tries Matt jerks a finger in the direction of the back door.

Aaron isn’t sure why he follows him.

“I thought you might need some fresh air” is Matt’s explanation when they’re out in the open. Aaron stares blankly at his team-mate. “Am I wrong” Matt prompts leaning against the wall to the club. Aaron shivers slightly, and Matt wordlessly hands over his jacket. Aaron slips it on because he’s not an idiot. It’s gigantic on him, and he feels, but Matt doesn’t laugh. “Are things okay with you?” Matt asks, and in that moment Aaron hates him.

“I’m okay” Aaron whispers. Matt grabs Aaron by the back of the neck and hugs him against his chest.

“Tell me if you need me to let go.” Aaron doesn’t say anything, he’s not sure what he’s supposed to be thinking. He’s not sure what to do with comfort.

“I’m not into guys,” Aaron says into Matt’s chest. He hasn’t moved. He doesn’t want to. Matt’s chin is resting on the top of his head.  
“I wasn’t propositioning you.”

Aaron doesn’t know why he feels like crying, he’s not sure he’s sad. He finally pulls away from Matt.  
“Can you go away, I want to call Katelyn” Matt nods at him and leaves him in peace. Aaron pushes the speed dial on his phone. He gets her answering service. He tries again. He tries again. That’s okay, he doesn’t need to know where she is. She’s her own person, and he’s his, and they fit together when they fit together. He’ll see her tomorrow.

Aaron goes back inside and makes his way over to their tables. The only person there is Neil. Aaron gives him a nod and slides into a chair next to him. He swipes a drink and downs it, he doesn’t care who it belongs to, but from the taste, it’s probably Nicky’s. He can feel Neil watching him, but he doesn’t care, doesn’t complain, and Neil keeps watching. Aaron thinks about how often Neil and Andrew are alike. Aaron isn’t like anyone on the team. He’s not saying he’s a special snowflake, but Neil and Andrew have this creepy murder twins thing going on. Despite that Aaron is Andrew’s actual twin.

Aaron does see Katelyn the next day and into the night, and it’s blissful. She and some of the vixens come to hang out with Dan. For reasons Aaron can’t fathom, Katelyn adores Dan the two of them are suddenly best friends. Aaron thinks he should hate it. He sits down next to Matt. Watching the girls excitement over something he didn’t catch is exhausting. Matt places a hand over Aaron’s

“Dude are you alright?” Matt questions. Aaron hesitates and turns his palm up so he can curl his fingers into Matt’s. Maybe he should feel guiltier doing it. But holding Matt’s hand for a second of comfort doesn’t feel wrong. It doesn’t mean anything. He’s not hiding it behind closed doors.  
“I’m just tired,” he replies.

“I’m taking Aaron to bed” Matt announces. Aaron is expecting a protest, but the most he gets is Katelyn flouncing over and giving him a firm kiss on the mouth. She tastes very sweet.

Matt marches Aaron into their room and shuts the door. Aaron doesn’t take his eyes off Matt. Matt doesn’t take his eyes of Aaron. Aaron sighs and starts to strip to his boxers. Matt averts his eyes then.  
“Do you need me to go” it comes out like a statement, so Aaron doesn’t bother answering it, no matter what he says it feels like a lie. He does walk up and drag Matt to his bed. Matt climbs in it still fully dressed. Aaron follows him under the covers. Matt’s arms wrap around his waist. They don’t venture. Aaron sleeps.

He wakes up, and Matt is gone. That’s okay. He’s not surprised, he’s probably gone for a jog with Neil, and then the two of them will eat breakfast with Dan at that stupid coffee shop they all like. Aaron rolls over with a groan and grabs his phone. There’s a text message from Katelyn.

Katelyn: Good morning baby, hope you and Mattie had a good sleep.

Aaron’s nose twitches. He’s somehow disgusting in himself for thinking Mattie suits the other boy.

Aaron: It was fine. Meet up?

Katelyn: I have practice, hang out with your friends for a while.

Aaron doesn’t reply, he doesn’t admit that the foxes are his friends, that people like Matt, that Matt is his friend. That honestly as it stands, Matt is his best friend, and he’s not sure when the fuck he started feeling like that. His phone buzzes again.

Matt: Hey. Come eat breakfast if you’re awake.

Matt: Also, don’t freak out.

Aaron narrows his eyes at the phone. What on earth does Matt think he’d freak out about. He throws on the nearest clean clothes he can find.

Aaron: Fine, I’ll be there.

He grabs his keys off the desk near the door and grabs a jacket too just in case it’s cold out, the weather has been a bit hit and miss lately. It’s only a ten-minute walk to where the others are. Neil stands up when Aaron enters and greets him with a handshake. It’s firm. Aaron takes the seat beside him and across from Matt.

“I ordered for you, I wasn’t sure how long you’d be,” Matt says, Aaron nods but doesn’t offer anything else, he’s still tired. The food comes, and Aaron isn’t shocked to find Matt’s chosen all of his favorites. Matt’s phone starts to ring, and he answers it with an apologetic glance. Neil and Dan aren’t even paying attention, they are talking about some movie that Neil hasn’t seen. If Aaron's honest, he hasn’t seen it either, but he doesn’t want any attention focused on him. He digs at his breakfast and ignores his surroundings.

“Who was on the phone?” Dan asks.  
“Katelyn needs a lift from practice,” Matt says, and Aaron drops his fork onto his plate, it makes a loud bang, and Neil startles for a moment before screwing his eyes shut and settling down. Aaron says an apology in his head but not out loud. Instead, he turns to Matt.  
“You have Katelyn’s number?” he questions.

“Of course I do, I have a lot of Vixen’s numbers if it makes you feel better,” somehow it doesn’t.

Matt throws a pile of bills on the table, gives Dan a kiss, Neil a fist bump and then he turns to Aaron and wraps a hand gently around his neck. He leans in and lowers his voice enough that Aaron has to strain to hear it. “Stay safe.”

The atmosphere doesn’t change that much after that, they eat and the talk, Aaron even joins in occasionally. Dan is easy to get along with he finds and Neil, is well he’s Neil. He loves Neil in the way anyone loves their brother’s significant other, he also wants to punch Neil in the face until it’s bleeding and swollen.

He thinks about that for a minute, and then a queasy feeling punctures his stomach. No. He does not want to hit Neil. He does not want to hit Neil. He does not want to hit Neil. He doesn’t want to hit anyone.

Andrew comes to pick Neil up, and Dan has things to do after breakfast. Matt isn’t back, so Aaron goes to brave the rest of his family. Nicky is playing video games and hands Aaron the controller when he sees him enter. Kevin is holed up in the corner of the room watching Exy videos. Aaron finds himself pleased to see both of them. The three of them are like that for a while until Aaron’s stomach starts to growl at him that it needs to be sated again. Aaron pauses the game and ignores his cousins' protests as he tugs open the door of the bar fridge, it’s mostly full of booze, but there’s a couple of pieces of fruit that probably belong to Kevin, or possibly Neil. They certainly don’t belong to Andrew. The knives on top of the fridge though, they belong to Andrew, they definitely belong to Andrew and Aaron freezes as he closes the door clinging to the apple in his fingertips. He wants to be clinging to the knives instead, but he just doesn’t know where he’d cut with them. He knows better, he knows not to touch them, but god they’re right there. Right in front of his face. He’s sure they’re sharp. Andrew likes to take care of his things in his own way, it’s weirdly materialistic of him.

“You need to leave,” Andrew’s voice tells him. He’s not even sure when Andrew had gotten back, but he just nods and goes back to his dorm room.

He falls straight to his knees when he gets there. He doesn’t cry though. He doesn’t think he can. Instead, he gets the homework he’s been putting off for three days and starts on that. He loses track of time and is somewhat startled by the door slamming and a dripping wet Matt. Aaron looks at him and grabs a nearby towel to give him. Matt grins gratefully. Once Matt is slightly dryer he comes and leans over Aaron. He can feel the moment Matt’s mouth comes down on the top of his head and kisses him gently. Aaron tenses.

“I’m trying to do homework” is what comes out above anything else. Matt doesn’t say anything, but he also doesn’t particularly move very far away from him. Aaron expects it to be annoying, but he actually finds it easy to concentrate with Matt’s fingers in his hair or trailing against his skin. He feels like he should be angry, or feel guilty, or wrong, or that he should feel something more negative but mostly he just feels safer and in less pain. It’s like the world is stopping.

“What about, uh Katelyn and Dan,” Aaron asks softly once his homework is finished.

“They went out somewhere last I heard,” Matt says with a shrug. “I can call them if you want them to come over here.”

“That isn’t what I meant” Aaron replies, and he’s not sure where all this anger is coming from. “Stop fucking touching me.” Matt instantly drops his hands and leaves.

Matt doesn’t touch him again, three weeks have passed, and nearly every other person has touched him. It’s the nature of having team-mates he supposes. He’s had sex with Katelyn a couple of times, but Matt has steered clear of him so much that Aaron wants to shove him into a wall just so he can have some god damn contact.

“Baby are you okay?” Katelyn asks at the four-week mark. Aaron's miserable, and it makes him a miserable boyfriend.  
“Yeah, I guess,” Aaron says. Katelyn rolls her eyes at him in the particular way she does and hands him his phone. She’s already got a message programmed in it.

To Mattie: I miss you.

“Press send,” Katelyn says. Aaron presses send. Katelyn smiles at him. Aaron feels less guilty. He has no reason to feel guilty.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t been very good to you lately” Aaron admits. Katelyn looks at him and tilts her head back to stare at the ceiling.  
“No” she agrees. “But you were hurting, and you’re allowed to do that,” she tells him.

“You aren’t mad that you can’t fix me?” Aaron asks.

“I’m not sure you need fixing” she replies. Aaron’s phone buzzes.

From Mattie: I’m here whenever you need me.

Katelyn reads the message over Aaron’s shoulder.  
“Go on then,” she says encouragingly. Aaron buries himself into her shoulder.

“I think I’ll stay here a while” Katelyn doesn’t push him away and demand he goes like he thinks she probably should. She holds him a little tighter. “I love you,” he says.

“I know” is her reply.

Later when he gets back to the dorm, Matt is still awake. He gets to his feet and dials his phone to call someone as he strides towards Aaron. He puts an arm on Aaron’s shoulder as whoever is on the other side answers.  
“He’s back, he’s fine, it’s fine,” Matt says into the phone, and then he clicks the end button. “Dan was worried about you,” Matt says in the way of explanation. Aaron nods, ignoring the voice in his head telling him to yell that she doesn’t care, that she shouldn’t care. Matt pulls him into a hug, and the world stops being so hard. Matt tilts his head up and places a gentle, chaste kiss in the corner of his mouth. Aaron doesn’t pull away. He doesn’t hate this. This feels okay.

“Remind me to tell Dan thank you,” Aaron says softly, and he lets Matt put him to bed.

**Author's Note:**

> I've done some grammar edits but I've kept the content the same as on tumblr. Let me know what you think


End file.
